So the other day I sat down to watch the extended edition of Return of the King (final installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, in case you need to know).

The movie was ungodly long to begin with, then they added enough additional footage to make it The Longest Movie of All Time Anywhere In Movie-Seeing? World. Two people could sit down, one to watch ROTK, the other to watch the Back to the Future trilogy, and the first person could join the second mid-way through the second person’s last movie. I mean the mother is long. Four hours of long.

I watched the last Lord of the Rings flick the least of all of them. I saw it once in the theater, once when it first hit DVD, and this was the third time. Compare that to the 5 times and 4 times I saw Fellowship and Two Towers IN THE THEATER, respectively.

I have to admit it. I have watched ROTK three times now, and never seen it all the way through. I dozed for 15-20 minutes the first two times, and I napped for like, I dunno, 30 or so this latest time. Some of you will think that makes me a bad person. Some of you really… won’t care.

This really doesn’t fall into the “confession” category, but here’s the facts, Jack:
I am down to the wire, finding-a-date-for-Jen-and-Joe’s-wedding-wise. It’s like…. 3 months and a week away. I figure you need to be dating a girl for a good two months before you ask her to go to a wedding with you which all your relatives are attending. Three would be better. But anyway.
I meet like, 0 women a year. The women I meet are my friends’ girlfriends and people at work. Difficult to date at best.
I may have to resort to some unorthodox methods to find a potential mate. That’s right — I’m talking internet. *sighs* I’m kind of at a loss.

OK, other things to do…