The LAME edition

I was just surfing a bit in between some reading. I happened to visit Wil’s site, and then I decided I would look at Wil’s old site via the Internet Archive. For shits/grins, I tried typing “” into the IA to see what would pop up. Stuff did!

I was surprised, cuz I think my ego is large enough that I’ve done this before. They have some pages archived back to right after I gradumacated from Osh Vegas the first time. I thought it was funny to look at some of those old pages, because A) I lost some of them in the fire, and B) my site used to suck royal ass.

Now it only sucks Common Ass.

Busy w/ the homework, but I should be able to get a video up this week, I think.

It takes some effort to move the objects around on this page when I add new stuff, (like blog entries, so I’m just going to keep typing random thoughts to fill up the rest of this white space. Oh, I bought another pair of shoes today. That means I can rotate. I bought them from the same woman who sold me the last pair. She seems to reeeeally be in to shoes. I guess that makes her a good sales person.

Tick, Tick

The Top V things that I had ample time to do last spring that will not be true this spring at all:

I. Television – with no job and two classes, I had all sorts of time to watch 24-30 hours of TV per week. At this point, it seems like I should probably throw out the TV, just swap out the tape in the VCR once a week, and if I really want to know how the seasons of Charmed, 24, Smallville, and Friends all end up this year, it’ll wait ’til June.

II. Video games – last spring, I played all the way through Grand Theft Auto 3 and also made time for SNES games on the emulator. Yesterday, I “put away” my USB game controller in a very inconvenient place, but I do still have this Sims CD staring up at me from the top of the computer case.

III. Obsessive apartment cleaning – there were the weeks that I cleaned the bathroom three times and the days that I did dishes four times. Even though I only had two meals and one shower per day.

IV. General Internet shenanigans – Wordell can attest to the fact that the IM was the best place to find me between the hours of 6am and 10pm MDT.

V. Doing good work on the website – sure, blogging a little is never that hard, but producing a video, writing and Interesting & Factual Tale, etc… I just don’t see good things happening.

Dammit, I gotta read.

While I’m doing that, you could go catch yourself up on last week’s episode of Charmed so you can tell me all about it next time we talk.


So I woke up from a dream at about 5:27 this morning. If I could be so bold, conceited, and condescending as to guide your reading, the phrase “about 5:27” is funny. Featured in the dream was some random bar & restaurant way up north. We were all hanging out and having wings and stuff, and I was too full to eat any more, I remember that, but someone reeeeeeeally wanted to get a fish fry.

Anyway, it was time to leave, and it was snowing outside, and it looked kind of like the “parking lot” at the Sundown Tavern in Phelps, if you know where that is/what that looks like.

Well, once again in perfect random form for the ol’ subconscious, I run into this woman who I knew/had a thing for a while back. Well, we exchange pleasantries, and I ask her out and get shot down in my own dream. I think things are definitely looking bleak when you can’t even get any in a dream anymore.

Happy Birthday to Jen, though, she is 27 today. Pretty soon she’ll “be like this.”

(Man, I’m full of the inside jokes today…)

In other news, maybe I should scan all my books and handouts for class in to PDF format, so while I’m doing homework at work, it still looks like I’m working. But that would be an awful lot of work.


Took care of the grocery shopping today, finished the laundry, did the “bills,” as it were, any and everything to avoid finishing my homework, which is something I’m never exactly *in the mood* for, and yet, when I do the homework, I get a tremendous feeling of satisfaction knowing that it’s done, and almost always, I enjoy doing it in the end. Why is the getting-rolling so blasted hard? It’s a mystery of human psychology, I guess, that I could probably figure out, if only I could get started on researching that.

I think I should probably advise my place of work that I’m going to be gone during spring break, even though it’s really only three days I’ll be missing there, three days is three days and I’m sure they’d appreciate a heads-up. This is not something that I even thought about last week as I was purchasing airfare online. This is why it’s going to be extremely difficult for me to ever have a real job.

I did some dishes today, too.

Christy was in town for her birthday this past weekend, so I bought her some booze and a picture frame, and we had Chinese. Well, I really need to get to work on the homework now, so I’ll catch ya later.

Three Laws

Last night in my Rhetoric & Comp class, we talked a little about writing out numbers or not writing out numbers. Last year, I tried to make myself a new habit of *always* writing out numbers, even if (and especially if) it’s some ungodly high number, like four hundred eighty-seven million, three hundred ninety-two thousand, two hundred four. When I’m talking about a big number, I like to draw attention to just how big it is. So, maybe the honest truth is not that I always write out the numbers, but I make them appear as large on the page as possible. That might be more accurate. What’s more impressive? Is it “one trillion,” or “1,000,000,000,000”? I think you know the answer.

Last night, I thought I may have done something bad, but this afternoon, I realized that I was crazy for having thought it. This is what is was:

Without even thinking about it, I mentioned to an entire classroom of people that they would find the phone number for Terri Carlin on my website. I even told them exactly how to find said website.

What hadn’t occurred to me at that moment was that this was ACTUALLY A RIDICULOUS ENOUGH STORY that people might go, and might make it abundantly clear to my ISP that I’m hosting my own website from my bedroom.

This is the thought that I realized was silly, because it would take an astronomical amount of traffic for that to happen. So I am now in a realm of non-concern.

Besides the absurdity of the lawsuit, if you take a look at that frame of video once again, and let’s do that, shall we?


HEE, he-hee…Right, so when you look at this picture, (which, like I said, there are 30 frames per second with standard NTSC video, and if you captured *EVERY SINGLE FRAME* in which this breast appeared, it was probably in the 12-15 range) you may notice something peculiar about Janet’s nipple. Of course we can zoom in on that if needs be, and I think needs. Be.


Now, if there is something that was “revealed” during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show, it was NOT “fleshy” by any means. Even if you didn’t know for sure that Janet had breasts, I think you probably always had your suspicions? This event should not give rise to American concerns about our nation’s moral fiber in mass media, nono— rather, it is the that this frame of video makes one fact so very abundantly clear:



I make no secret of the fact that I very seriously believe that mankind’s day of reckoning will come at the hand of the sentient robots. I grant you, this event is, most likely, no fewer than 300 years off in the future, but the day is coming, perhaps sooner than I or my comrades could have guessed. I think we should entertain the very real possibility that Janet is NOT the sister of the Jackson 5 as we’ve been made to believe, but she may in fact represent a distant future generation of that family, sent back from a time when the robots have begun constructing organic hybrids, in order to somehow expedite the revolution. I don’t know where you stand on the robot issue, but I’ll say this much for myself: the cyborgs can have my website when they pry the laptop from my crispy, radiation-seared thighs.

Typically In Stereo

I could not more completely fit the profile of the 21st century college student than I am right now. I sit in the coffee shop at the union, drinking a tall cup o’ Starbucks, eating a muffin for lunch, and tapping away on the keys of my laptop. Undoubtedly, someone in here is thinking I’m making too much noise as I slap away.

I’ve had two of my three classes so far this week, the last one is going down @ 6 pm today. Tomorrow I have a day off from class and work, so I’m going to fill it with two things:

• reading for class

• Talking about “Crop Dusting” with Wordy

I was unsettled a bit last evening in my fiction class when the prof, one Ron Rindo, mentioned to me, as he took attendance, that “he believes he is in my blog,” which I said was entirely possible, and after I checked on it today, it turns out he is. This simple fact is really neither here nor there, but as I explained to Kevin last night and Wordy this morning, the reality check provided by a virtual stranger mentioning your website is just a little unnerving. Not because you don’t want people visiting your website or reading your blog, but because even as you beam your thoughts out into cyberspace, you never expect anyone to actually look.

This bundt cake muffin isn’t bad, but I don’t remember what I paid for it. Might’ve been too much.

Since the last update on 30 Jan, Joe M provided me with the means to keep the80srewind web/mail server in my home. It’s pretty neat, and I’m excited about it, even though the experience for nearly every person that could visit this site will be unchanged.

My younger sister, Christy, turned 21 on Feb 4. I called during the day to wish her a happy one, and was glad to know she was safe and attended all her classes on a day which, for the typical WI young adult, can be quite physically stressful. On the 10th, my older sis Jen turns Quarter-Century-Plus-Two? (or XXVII for the Romans, 27 for the Arabs). We (Joe and I) are planning an evening out for birthday libations this Saturday.

I dropped an email today to Marty Brick. He graduated from the program here at UWO last June and wrote his thesis on House of Leaves, which I plan to do as well. I’m looking forward to talking to him, and I took note of the fact that I don’t think I’ve ever really been legitimately *excited* about something “academic,” as it were. If that makes sense.

I’m running MS Office 2003 now, and the Outlook is spectacular. I really like the redesigned view of folders, messages, etc. They updated Publisher as well, and I’m still doing this site in that format. My plans to migrate to Dreamweaver may be delayed, contingent upon the added functionality that I discover in this program.

I did come across something interesting on the Internet today in regard the non-issue of the Super Bowl halftime show, which, if you had listened to Charlie Sykes on WTMJ Monday morning, you’d think had (to borrow the phrasing of my roomie Dave) “killed every man woman and child in America while bombing all our troops and pissing on the flag.”

Apparently there’s a woman in Knoxville who has filed a class action lawsuit in the Eastern district court of Tennessee “on behalf of all Americans,” who watched the Super Bowl. Personally, I wasn’t that outraged, and would’ve forgotten about it come Monday had the media and militant ultra-right not turned this into maybe the worst thing since 9/11.

Anyway, I gave Terri Carlin a call, because I want to be excluded from the lawsuit, and I think if you didn’t think so much of the non-event at halftime, you should do the same. Her number is 865-691-5558.

I guess I’ll leave the day at that.

Please email me if you think Taco Hell is disgusting and should be banned the world over. My roommate seems to think that I’m crazy for holding this opinion, and my experience with society and their passion for shitty tacos inclines me to agree.