I was gathering up my “things” to go out of the house today; I have a couple errands plus an interview at WTMJ @ 1:30. I grabbed the following items:
• phone
• keys
• wallet
• checkbook
• watch
• glasses
• pen

Anyway, as I began to carry all these things in both hands down the stairs, I realized: I could probably really use one of those European male carry-all’s. Y’know what I mean?

Lovin' Spoonful

So today I retreated to the comfortable (atmospherically) confines of the basement and got quite a bit “more” done than usual: found some jobs to apply for, sent resume(s), called Joe Scialfa again (and I have an interview tomorrow), but a few items on my list forced me back up the stairs, ’cause my laptop was being a wanker.

Speaking of which, I have to make some calls to and make a stop in Oshkosh in the near future. I mentioned this to Jen the other day, and I punctuated my statements by saying that I couldn’t think of why I needed to go there. I’ll try to stop with the rambling now.

What are my points?
– With this MS Outlook thing I’m doing now, I put more stuff on the electronic “to-do” list, and get more angry that the computer keeps reminding me of all the stuff I’m putting off.
– I can get a feeling of accomplishment from the smallest tasks these days. EXAMPLE: Jen told me when I first moved here that the VCR in the living room “didn’t record,” so I set about to remedy that, but before taking anything apart, I thought it would make sense to double-check and be sure that it was not performing said operation. Turns out it only needed to have the clock set and the channels programmed, took me about 7 minutes, but hey, look at me: I fixed the VCR.
– I’ve had quite enough of the groveling and lying to potential employers that is customary for people in search of employment. I am trying something new in that department, since it can’t possibly put me in a worse situation (unemployed without prospects): I am going to be blunt and honest. I sent a cover letter today that, among other things, pointed out my professional shortcomings, my thoughts on the current job market, and more or less matter-of-factly said I deserved a chance to interview since I know I can do the job. We’ll see what comes of this.

Like I was saying to Wordy earlier today, now that I’m no longer behind such a badass firewall, you should go pick yourself up a cheap webcam so we can do video conferencing… ’nuff’a’this “telephone” crap!

Per request, there will be no further quotes from ‘Reality Bites’ posted on this or any other page at

Per my own annoyance, the static loop will not return to this page.

Per Jen’s request, I will be taping 12 episodes of “Charmed” for her this week.


So today while I was sitting at the kitchen table working on writing this story, it occurred to me why I never get large chunks of stuff like that done. Allow me to walk you down this tangent.

Gary and Leonard are eating a late lunch somewhere around Los Angeles, CA. I get to a point where it would be appropriate to reveal Leonard’s last name, so I ALT-Tab over to the synopsis I wrote up about three weeks ago to remember what it was.

There was no last name. This got me to wondering if any of these characters had last names, and they didn’t. For some reason, I decided that I really wanted Rod, a small film director, to get a last name first. I turned to the internet for inspiration.

I pop up IMDB and search “people” for the totally random “Rod.” I get oodles of results, and the first Rod that I click on was a 2nd unit director on some soft porn flick called “Babes 2: Lost in Beaver Creek,” which is a hilarious title for any movie, but slightly less so when it’s a Skinemax flick.

I decide to toss up another search, this time under titles, just for the word “Babes,” certain that I’ll hit a large number of silly soft porn movies, which, as it has already been pointed out, are all ridiculous.

I find one title particularly interesting: “Babes and Boobs.” It’s interesting not because “Babes and Boobs” is hilarious, or because it stars some 21st-century TV star in their career’s infancy or something like that, nonono. “Babes and Boobs” is hilarious because it’s a silent movie; IMDB says it came out in 1918. That’s right, 1918. I can only imagine what it’s about. I e-mail a link for this listing to Wordy.

I return to the list of hits for “babes,” which is about 50 deep, and find two TV shows, both named “Babes,” one from 1990 and the other from 1998. The former seems to have been on the Fox network, I see someone actually commented on it, and apparently this person liked the show and wondered why Fox canceled it so fast.

This leads me to wonder why Fox cancels a lot of shows so fast, and my favorite short-lived show that was on Fox in recent memory, “Andy Richter Controls the Universe.” If you had the good sense to watch the show while it was on, you would know that, even if you didn’t find it that amusing, I would think it was gut-tearingly hilarious, which I did. I look this show up and find that it has been officially canceled; they only aired like 19 episodes all together.

I’m so dismayed at the fate of Andy and his friends (two of which were pretty hot) that I can’t seem to continue working with the same vigor that made me sit down to begin with.

Rod, Gary, and Leonard all continue to exist without last names.


Things that I got done today:
Called (but did not speak to) Joe Scialfa again
Wrote to Ron Rindo about getting into the Master’s program in Oshkosh
Sent out a copy of Blender for *hopeful* publication
Went to a temp agency in Waukesha

Which is really not too bad for me; when I get in these “lots and lots of important stuff to do” times, I will occasionally wind up putting off and putting off and putting off, justifying my behavior with busy-ness at far less vital tasks.

If you haven’t heard from me, I swear, I’m getting around to it soon.

On Wisconsin

Or, “in,” rather.

The trip was just skippy, by the way. No snags, problems, blow-outs, no destruction of property, mine or otherwise, no maiming of small furry creatures, domestic or otherwise, and still no reason that I can fathom to stay awake for the majority of Minnesota, recently crowned Boringest State in the Union, by a consortium of poor souls who’ve been called upon to traverse it border to border. (Sorry, MN, other than the Twin Cities, ya got nothin — at least ND has Teddy Roosevelt Nat’l Park, and WI has some peaks and valleys on the highway.)

The video is called “21” because it takes place in the last 21 hours of my time living in Bozeman. The complete movie hits theaters (or in this case, internets) on Friday, but you can take a look at this “trailer,” if you will.

Other than that, still nothing significant to report. I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen. I looked in the newspaper for work, but obviously haven’t landed anything yet; it’s only been 3 days. Realistically, a person would be hard-pressed to land an interview in 3 days, so please: be reasonable in your expectations.

I did want to gripe about some things, though, but for now I’m going to keep it to just one. That one is groceries.

First of all: I don’t know if you’ve ever shopped for groceries, I guess most people have. When I do it, I go on a Grocery Mission. My objective: the most productivity in the least amount of time. Anyone who’s spent any time with me at home can attest to the fact that I don’t like to spend a lot of time on food. Period. I don’t like to waste time cooking, eating, cleaning up, and the acquisition of food is no exception. This is why I’ve taken to grocery shopping in controlled bursts; I get a loaf of bread here, a gallon of milk there, and only when it’s needed. I’m not too big on shopping for things in advance, or pre-meditating my food usage for a week or whatever. Like I said, don’t like to spend a lot of time on it (not even in the thinking department.)

I can tell that America is not with me on this one. Have you *seen* the people in the grocery store? The women wandering around frozen food, staring at this UFO flying around the ceiling with nothing but a stalk of celery and a box of granola bars in the cart, or the men, hands shoved in pockets, carelessly sauntering through the snack aisle, perhaps uncertain as to which will kill them faster: sour cream & onion or garlic & chives? I have a message for my mindless grocery-getting compatriots…

GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY. I don’t have time (well, no, I guess I really do) or rather don’t want to waste the time lolly-gagging around Pick n’ Save when I could be at home looking for a job or serving the needs of my web-public in a forum such as this one.

I make a list, people. TRY IT.

Most grocery stores are laid out fairly similarly, or at least, they tend to group similar items together no matter where you go. USE THAT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

I swear, next time I’m over there, if I should accidentally mow down the shirt-and-tie guy slowing shuffling down the cereal aisle staring at an empty cart as he wonders what the wife would like for dinner, I won’t be held responsible. If you’re not ready to shop, man, sit in the car for a while.

More to come in the near future, hopefully news about work in there somewhere.

PS—The ice cream man and his damned truck with that damned song didn’t make me want ice cream, it just made me want to kill the truck.

PPS—Did you know that in this man’s neighborhood, the ice cream truck plays “Helter Skelter”?