On Wisconsin

Or, “in,” rather.

The trip was just skippy, by the way. No snags, problems, blow-outs, no destruction of property, mine or otherwise, no maiming of small furry creatures, domestic or otherwise, and still no reason that I can fathom to stay awake for the majority of Minnesota, recently crowned Boringest State in the Union, by a consortium of poor souls who’ve been called upon to traverse it border to border. (Sorry, MN, other than the Twin Cities, ya got nothin — at least ND has Teddy Roosevelt Nat’l Park, and WI has some peaks and valleys on the highway.)

The video is called “21” because it takes place in the last 21 hours of my time living in Bozeman. The complete movie hits theaters (or in this case, internets) on Friday, but you can take a look at this “trailer,” if you will.

Other than that, still nothing significant to report. I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen. I looked in the newspaper for work, but obviously haven’t landed anything yet; it’s only been 3 days. Realistically, a person would be hard-pressed to land an interview in 3 days, so please: be reasonable in your expectations.

I did want to gripe about some things, though, but for now I’m going to keep it to just one. That one is groceries.

First of all: I don’t know if you’ve ever shopped for groceries, I guess most people have. When I do it, I go on a Grocery Mission. My objective: the most productivity in the least amount of time. Anyone who’s spent any time with me at home can attest to the fact that I don’t like to spend a lot of time on food. Period. I don’t like to waste time cooking, eating, cleaning up, and the acquisition of food is no exception. This is why I’ve taken to grocery shopping in controlled bursts; I get a loaf of bread here, a gallon of milk there, and only when it’s needed. I’m not too big on shopping for things in advance, or pre-meditating my food usage for a week or whatever. Like I said, don’t like to spend a lot of time on it (not even in the thinking department.)

I can tell that America is not with me on this one. Have you *seen* the people in the grocery store? The women wandering around frozen food, staring at this UFO flying around the ceiling with nothing but a stalk of celery and a box of granola bars in the cart, or the men, hands shoved in pockets, carelessly sauntering through the snack aisle, perhaps uncertain as to which will kill them faster: sour cream & onion or garlic & chives? I have a message for my mindless grocery-getting compatriots…

GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY. I don’t have time (well, no, I guess I really do) or rather don’t want to waste the time lolly-gagging around Pick n’ Save when I could be at home looking for a job or serving the needs of my web-public in a forum such as this one.

I make a list, people. TRY IT.

Most grocery stores are laid out fairly similarly, or at least, they tend to group similar items together no matter where you go. USE THAT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

I swear, next time I’m over there, if I should accidentally mow down the shirt-and-tie guy slowing shuffling down the cereal aisle staring at an empty cart as he wonders what the wife would like for dinner, I won’t be held responsible. If you’re not ready to shop, man, sit in the car for a while.

More to come in the near future, hopefully news about work in there somewhere.

PS—The ice cream man and his damned truck with that damned song didn’t make me want ice cream, it just made me want to kill the truck.

PPS—Did you know that in this man’s neighborhood, the ice cream truck plays “Helter Skelter”?

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