Dear Senator Obama,
During your candidacy, one goal I recall that you mentioned is getting high-speed Internet access to as much of the nation as possible.
Pleasepleasepleaseplease–for the love of all that is right and holy on this Earth–I really need you to get my folks the high-speed Interwebs. After all these years, they are still on dial-up, and I could write all the stories on cnn.com myself in the time it takes that mother to load.
I mean, shit.