Tag Archives: Schneider

Replacement Prognostication: Week 17

So this will do it for the regular season.  I haven’t decided yet whether or not I will continue predicting for the playoffs.  Regardless, let me offer some reflections on this NFL year:

  • Never has one man’s profile dropped faster in my view than Brett Favre’s did late in summer.  It was a stark reminder, one more time, that the men who play these games are mere men (that is, they are but men; not mer-men, which would be something else altogether); none of them is made of anything more special than you or me.  Sure, they may be physically gifted, but I like to think everyone is gifted at something.  Certain gifts are just more profitable…
  • The Packers’ stock (not the ACTUAL Packers Stock, which has zero monetary value) has been dropping slowly since LAST December’s drubbing at Soldier Field.  Hopefully after this year, we’ll start pulling it back up again…
  • Despite the Dolphins resurgence, do not be fooled– not every single thing that Bill Parcells has ever touched turned to gold.
  • It has occurred to me that the Vikings only come up looking good on those occasions that the rest of their division utterly licked it.  Hence (if they get in), they will lose in the playoffs.  Again.
  • The mighty teams of the last 5 years have been taken down a peg, but no juggernaut has risen to replace them.  It could be an exciting and tough-to-predict postseason…

I am truly hoping for a return from Josh for the 2009 season, if for no other reason than his superior football-related wit.  Meanwhile, I have to be honest and say I had a pretty good record (a .660 percentage is fine no matter how you slice it), even though a number of these teams made it easy week to week with their ineptitude.

Going into the final weekend, a few of our weekly teams have something significant to play for, and some only have pride.  Some don’t even have that anymore.  No matter what, it’ll all be over in about 60 hours, so here are your predictions for this final Week 17.

SEASON RECORD: overall, 70-36; weeklies, 59-26; bonus picks, 11-10

  • Packers – win (oh please, let them not lose THIS game..)
  • Vikings – lose
  • Bears – win
  • Lions – lose (you can DOOOO it!!!!)
  • Chiefs – lose win lose win lose win lose
  • Seahawks – lose
  • Dolphins – win

BONUS PICKS!!!

  • Colts – win
  • Eagles – win
  • Ravens – lose
  • Chargers – lose

A Happy New Year to you all!

Replacement Prognostication: Week 16

Well, the Packers are out of it.  I don’t *think* that I was what jinxed them1, but one can’t know for sure.  From here on out, for reasons that I outlined last week, I will be rooting for the Jets.

Let’s get this party started and rock out on Week 16.

SEASON RECORD: overall, 63-34; weeklies, 55-25; bonus picks, 8-9

  • Packers – lose
  • Bears – win
  • Vikings – lose
  • Lions – lose
  • Chiefs – lose
  • Seahawks – lose
  • Dolphins – win

BONUS PICKS!!!

  • Cowboys – win
  • Titans – win
  • Patriots – win
  • Giants – win

Hey– have yourself a merry little Christmas.

  1. Since I declared that they could conceivably run the table in Week 12, they have not won a game. []

Replacement Prognostication: Week 15

Let’s call this the “Anxious-for-next-year-when-Schneider-will-be-back-to-doing-this” Edition.

The Packers are out of it.  Not technically speaking yet, but let’s cut through the crap, OK?  I read something in the Journal-Sentinel earlier today that said they had only held a lead for a total of like 8 minutes in the last 3 games.  Pitiful.  Meanwhile, the Vikings are on the verge of clinching the division, and with Gus Frerotte at quarterback.  Unbelieveable.

My apathy about the football season is rapidly spiraling out of control.  At this point, I am (sorry, Lorch) pulling for the Jets to do big things down the stretch, but not because I’m a Favre-zealot.  The further the Jets go in the playoffs, the better that draft pick is that Green Bay gets in exchange.  So here’s hoping we see a subway Super Bowl!!!

Outside the NFC North, the fates of our weekly predicted teams could hardly be less relevant.  Who would have thought the Miami frakkin Dolphins would have the best record in this group?  Anyway, enough pretending to care, here are your predictions for Week 15.

SEASON RECORD: 49-24, BONUS PICKS: 6-7

  • Packers – lose
  • Vikings – lose
  • Bears – win
  • Lions – lose
  • Chiefs – lose
  • Seahawks – win
  • Dolphins – win

BONUS PICKS!!!

  • Falcons – lose
  • Jets – win
  • Ravens – lose
  • Giants – win

Have you ever heard of the Amero?  Sounds like a load of crap to me…

Replacement Prognostication, Week 14

My home team has taken to disappointing me week in and week out.  The worst part about the situation in the NFC North (a scant 2 weeks after I boldly declared that the Pack would prevail in the end) is that the Vikings are the team in the lead.  Two major problems here: (1) the Packers have no games remaining against the Vikings (so they have to count on other teams to help them catch up), and (2) it’s the goddamned Vikings.  Man, I hate that team.  A lot.

It’s going to be tough for me to pick a post-season horse if Green Bay craps out.  One of our division rivals?  Please.  A team from the powerhouse NFC South?  Too easy.  The Fish?  That would be like admitting Lorch was right about something.  Brett and the Jets?  At least death by INT would feel familiar…

Anyway, “have at thee!” for Week 14.

SEASON RECORD: 45-22, BONUS PICKS: 5-4

  • Packers – win (seriously this time)
  • Bears – win
  • Vikings – win (bastards)
  • Lions – lose (bastards!)
  • Chiefs – lose
  • Seahawks – lose
  • Dolphins – lose

BONUS PICKS!!!

  • Falcons – win
  • Buccaneers – win
  • Eagles – lose
  • Ravens – win

Only 20 shopping days til Christmas, and just 71 until spring training opens.

Replacement Prognostication: Week 13

As I watch the hapless Detroit Lions get their collective ass handed to them by the Tennessee Titans, I realized that I need to get on with prognosticating this week in the NFL.  I AM going to take credit for calling the Lions game, too, because seriously: it’s just been a gimme all year, so…

However, with the dial-up situation here in E.R., time to cut the chatter and present my picks for Week 13.

SEASON RECORD: 41-20, BONUS PICKS: 3-2

  • Packers – win (they have to eventually)
  • Bears – win
  • Vikings – lose
  • Lions – lose
  • Chiefs – win
  • Seahawks – lose
  • Dolphins – win

BONUS PICKS!!!

  • Eagles – lose
  • Giants – lose
  • Jets – lose
  • Pats – lose

Replacement Prognostication: Week 12

Your NFL division leaders have the following records, in no particular order: 7-3, 7-3, 6-4, 10-0, 9-1, 5-5, 8-2, 7-3.  Bears, Packers, and Vikings fans, rejoice!  Your underacheiving squad of ragamuffins still has a shot at winning this thing and making the playoffs.  With as little bias as I can muster, I’m going to say that the Packers will end up taking the NFC North.

I base this assessment on their schedule, and the team’s performance last week against the Bears.  It was the sort of “complete” game that the Pack played on numerous occasions last year, en route to a 13-3 record.  Now the team has to prove that this group, led by Mike McCarthy, will not pull a Sherman and play down to their competition week after week (in retrospect, those Mike Sherman-coached Packers should have won a lot more post-season games).

With 6 games to go, it’s also reasonable to say the Packers COULD run the table– they have several games left against some 2008 also-rans.  Maybe they lose to Carolina or Chicago and end up 10-6 (shrugs).  But in looking at the others in “the lead” in this division, I see QB as the Vikings achilles heel, and the defense will be it for the Bears (can’t BELIEVE I just wrote that).

But there are anywhere from 7 to 48 other teams playing each week, too, so enough lolly-gagging, and on to Week 12.

SEASON RECORD: 36-18, 2-0 in BONUS PICKS

  • Packers – win
  • Bears – win
  • Vikings – lose
  • Lions – lose
  • Chiefs – lose
  • Seahawks – lose
  • Dolphins – lose

BONUS PICKS!!!

  • Giants – win
  • Jets – lose
  • Titans – win
  • Eagles – win

If you’re donning the blaze orange this weekend, good luck and be safe.  That is all.

Replacement Prognostication, Week 11

It’s shaping up to be a believably unbelievable NFL season– New England is down, but not out.  The New York “sleeping” Giants are positioning themselves for a quiet repeat.  Tennessee is undefeated, but I remain unconvinced that they’re anything too special.  I’m sure the Favre-zealots are gnashing their teeth right now over the Jets’ 7-3 record, but I figure, hey: the better they do this year, the better the draft picks for the Pack next year.  Then there’s Detroit, still floundering without a win.  The most unbelievable thing about the Lions’ mark of 0-9 is that this is the first time they’ve been there since 2001.  And if that’s not enough, now the Dolphins have a winning record.  God help us.

We’re nearly to the two-thirds mark of the season, and these are your predictions for Week 11.

SEASON RECORD: 31-17 (although I have definitely been buoyed by three simple “auto-picks” each week: the Chiefs, Seahawks and Lions will probably always lose).

  • Packers – win
  • Bears – lose
  • Vikings – lose
  • Lions – lose
  • Chiefs – win
  • Seahawks – lose
  • Dolphins – win

BONUS PICKS!!

  • Titans – win
  • Giants – win