Every time in the last two days that I’ve walked past the phone hanging on the wall, I’ve picked it up, checking for a dial tone. Hasn’t been there. This last time I did it, which was about 28 seconds ago, I realized, “Oh, moron, the ‘Line 1’ button isn’t depressed.” Push the button, BOOM, dial tone. So who the hell knows how long my phone has been on without my knowledge?

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