I’m in class at the moment, and I was thinking that I haven’t been blogging enough lately, but then I remembered that I’ve retired completely from apologizing for whatever I do on this site. You’re the one reading it. I could point to a whole ton of sites that aren’t updated as frequently as this one. Plus there are areas on soloshootsfirst where you can add your own content.

Eh, whatever.

I smell cigarettes.

I was glad to hear from the eHarmonizers, and they’ll let me out at the end of my current month. So I was glad of that. I’m going to keep working on that problem in real life. I’ve decided that looking online isn’t quite where I am yet. This is not to poo-poo anyone else who’s had success with interpersonal relationships online. eHarmony is, well, to be honest: it’s not fast enough for me. I don’t get the sort of info that I want fast enough, and that is really frustrating.

This ZIP file with my website is taking an agonizingly long time to upload to the class website. I think that’s because it’s full of bitmaps. Which was my bad. I’ll fix that on the next draft.

This weekend is Joe’s bachelor party. I hope I remembered to email everyone that needed emailing. I might not have. I’ll need to check.

I’m going to head home for now, but there will be more to come.

Is there an exclamation point in the game? No, there’s not… which game is it that has an exclamation point as part of the name of the game? Am I drunk, maybe?

I didn’t eat dinner, but I had a bunch of coffee, so I’m kind of wired at the moment.

FYI — Bryguy is indifferent with regard to Coldplay.

It seems like a lot of the internet away from the blog has been taking up my time lately. I’ve been working on doing a website for a class that I have this semester. It’s about, y’know, the internet and stuff. The course contents are not exactly what I was hoping for when I got there (yes, Wordell, get in your I-told-you-so’s), but it still has served the purpose of being my less important (relative to indie study) class for the semester. Anyway, my site for that class is pretty lame and I’m probably gonna have to do the whole damn thing over again, so that’ll be a treat.

Oh, and the forums. I’ve been putting some things that would’ve been in blogs in forum posts the last couple weeks here. Nothing really substantial, more or less what I’m doing here is endorsing the forums.

The other day, Wil Wheaton was talking about doing a big overhaul on his site, and I don’t know that he really needs it, but whatever, he’ll be doing it, and I was thinking to myself, “Shit — I’m really glad that I don’t think about that much anymore…” This format is working great for me, I hope it’s good for you, too.

I am going to upgrade the hardware on the server later in the spring. I want to have a bigger processor and more memory in there, hopefully it will help with some speed issues in certain areas of the site. But the thing there is, I decided I would put a bigger hard drive in the server at that point, and with the collassal car repairs I’ve had to make this week, I doubt there’ll be money for frivolous things like hard drives in the near future… Maybe I could use my big external drive for the server or something. But I would have to back everything up that’s on there first. I guess I could do that. I have a DVD burner, for chrissakes.

I like Coldplay. No matter what Schneider says.

This will surprise the crap out of some of you: I got back in touch with Jill Pape this week (she’s now “Jill Pape Lemke”). Yeah, buried the hatchet and everything. We talked on the phone on Tuesday night for like an hour. She lives in Green Bay now. Who knew? Man, Green Bay is a hole. If it wasn’t for the Packers, can anyone think of a good reason for Green Bay to exist?

Speaking of the Packers, I’ve got Brewer fever, I dunno about you. Sure, it was the Pirates, the Brewers’ annual competitor for last place in the division, but hells bells: they won their first two, and quite convincingly. I wish I could get tickets for Wrigley this weekend, and then do the home opener in MKE on Monday, that would be sweet. I had to buy a new alarm clock radio this week, too, just so I could listen to the Brewers. My big stereo in the living room gets absolutely no AM reception, even with the ol’ loop antenna plugged in. The clock by the window picks up 620 just fine, though.

Man this is rambling. That’s what I (or rather, you) get for blogging while I’m juiced on the cocoa bean.

I better stop before I say something really random and insane.

PORK CHOP SANDWICHES!!

1. There was a guy in the computer lab where my class meets who left just a few minutes before we got started. He looked like Ashton Kutcher and was wearing a red t-shirt that had a “McShit” logo on the front.

2. Hot-With-Glasses? Girl is truly an enigma. She is hot with the glasses on, and only marginally attractive without.

3. There are times when Charlie should probably just admit that there’s not a lot to cover in a given week of class and say, “Ah, get out of here early…”

4. While keeping all my computers (except the server) off most of the time is saving on electricity, it’s certainly not helping me make sure I get all my shows taped.

5. I have earned the Giant Dumbass merit badge a number of times over. Thank goodness my prof picked up my PDA after I left it in class tonight.

6. Kids might say they don’t mind “group work,” in class, but the truth is that’s because they don’t get dick done during those sessions.

Missed an entry yesterday, mostly because of the hours that traveling took.

Wordy and I got on a bus at 7:00 AM EST Monday to go to New York for the day. We arrived in Chinatown at about 11, and then proceeding to walk a very long way, meandering past, in, and around any number of interesting or peculiar sites, until we got to Bethesda fountain in Central Park at about 3 (At least I think that’s about what time it was. I could check the pictures. OK, so it was 3:30. I was close.).

It was after we walked back out of the park to 53rd & Broadway (where I wanted to get a better photo of the Ed Sullivan Theater than I did four years ago) that we decided to pick up a map and brave the New York City subway. It was certainly no more frightening than any other sort of public transit, definitely faster, more crowded than most, but just difficult for a first-timer to navigate.

Anyway, we rode the train up to Columbia University, where Wordy wanted to learn some street names and whatnot, because a screenplay that he’s working on apparently has a car chase around Columbia in it. I took a few nice photos on the campus there, and a cute English girl asked me for directions, which I really wish I could’ve provided.

We asked a university security officer for subway directions back to where we needed to be for our bus, and holy crap – was that ever faster than walking! We got to the bus in plenty of time, even had a chance to grab dinner before it left, and then we both tried to sleep some on the way home. I also read the 2nd volume of the Sin City books, and it was as good as or better than the first.

Today we slept in for a little while after a very long day on our feet. We were up at about 20 minutes to 9, and we were across the street at the Au Bau Pain for coffee and a muffin at 10 after. Ben met us there about 30 minutes later, then at 10:30 or so, we hopped a train up to Harvard.

I had been there on Friday, but Wordy hadn’t, and I was really glad we went back, because the weather was beautiful for taking pictures. I found the ‘Harvard Alumni’ mug that I wanted, and Wordy got a shirt for his roomie that says, “Hahvahd.”

We ate lunch up in Cambridge before heading back to down with a stop at MIT. We all had a marvelous time all morning/early afternoon making fun of the smart kids at both Harvard and MIT. I guess it’s just what you do when you’re dumb/normal.

Wordy and I caught the train nearest Ben’s apartment at about 3:10 PM, and we were to the airport before 4. I was actually at the security check at 4. I waited on going through, though, so that we could have a drink before we took off. At 20 to 5, we said good-bye, and now I’m on the plane sitting next to a cute girl from Friendship, WI who’s a freshman at Boston University. I’m also sort of watching this guy’s DVDs over his shoulder without sound two rows up.

See ya back in ‘Sconnie.

Yesterday Ben and I made it to the airport just as Wordy was disembarking from his plane. We stopped at Dunkin Donuts for coffee and a muffin before we got back on the train, and Ben was right — they have some shitty coffee @ the DD.

We ate lunch at a place called The Screamin Pig. It was a nice English pub, I had a pulled pork sandwich.

Next, we walked over to Wally’s Jazz Cafe, which is one of Ben’s favorite places to hang out, and judging by the awards hanging on the walls, Boston thinks it’s pretty great, too. We were there too early to see anyone play, but the jukebox was an adequate substitute. A bunch of the pictures from yesterday are in Wally’s.

We went to the top floor of the Prudential building, where there’s a restaurant called “Top of the Hub.” The view was neat, but since it was a cloudy, snowy day in general, we had trouble seeing very far out. We were going to hang out there for a drink anyway, but they wouldn’t serve me because (and I’m paraphrasing here) “( they’ve ) never heard of a state that issues you a sticker to extend the date of your license before.” I was laughing about it, I think the people working there were offended, but like I told them — it wasn’t them so much as it was Wisconsin that gave me the chuckles. Silly, cheap, stupid Wisconsin, who doesn’t want you to get a new license, just a sticker.

There were a couple other stops along the way, finally we wound up at a place called Punter’s Pub, where we could throw all the darts we wanted for free (quite a change from WI) and we hung out there until around 1:00. Wordy and I ordered a lunchbox, which we had to tell the bartender how to make (1 part light beer, 1 part O.J, drop in a shot of amaretto), and which grossed out everybody at the bar. It was delightful.

Today the weather is supposed to be better, so hopefully we’ll get some outdoor photography rolling.

I write this blog from my friend Ben Leubner’s room in Boston, MA. It’s spring break time once again, and this year I’ve taken a short trip to New England to visit my friend whom I hadn’t seen since I returned to Waukesha from Montana, and to (hopefully) take some photos.

Yesterday wasn’t a very photoriffic day, but more on that to come.

I arrived about half an hour late, but it was a nice flight on the ol’ Midwest Signature service. The two seats across were nice. Of course, the plane was not nearly full, so I’m sure three seats across wouldn’t have been that bad. The plane was a Boeing 717.

Let’s rewind just a little further back to Thursday night — I met Jen & Joe and Raul & Kelly and Steve W out in Waukesha the night before, since my plane was leaving from Mitchell early on Friday morning.

I proceeded to get completely drunk Thursday night, to the point where, when Jen woke me from the couch on Friday morning, 70 minutes before my plane was due to take off, I didn’t even care that I would ruin my trip with beer. I wanted to sleep.

Wound up just rolling out of couch, pulling on clothes from the night before, and speeding across town to meet the plane. I got to the gate as it was finishing boarding, but at least I made it.

I felt like hell in the morning, and I threw up a little bit on the plane before it even took off. I think that that grossed out the woman sitting next to me enough that she didn’t speak to or look at me the rest of the flight.

Anyway, I got into town, Ben met me at baggage claim, and we rode the train back to his place. Dropped my stuff at his apartment, then we had lunch at a restaurant where one of the pieces of art on the wall was a painting someone had done of a family outside a Wal-Mart?.

We walked up to the North End, to a small Italian cafe where Ben enjoys the cappuccino. It was tasty. The walk was also nice — we saw a little bit of the tourist-y stuff in town, and some that wasn’t so tourist-y.

After that, we got on the train again, and went to walk around Harvard. We got there and made fun of the extremely wealthy smart kids. We thought of looking around for the English department, and I realized at that moment, looking for the English department at a university while I’m on spring break makes me simultaneously old and a big geek.

Harvard’s bookstore (The Coop) is basically a Harvard-branded Barnes & Noble. Where most university bookstores have a lot of merchandise with the school’s name enmblazened on it, this one did not. I wanted to get a “Harvard alumni” coffee mug, because I thought that would be funny. We discussed the lack of merchandise a little, and decided that they might only print up enough Harvard alumni mugs for each graduating class, or there is a secret code that we were, of course, too stupid to know, that would allow one access to the merchandising section of the Harvard bookstore.

We went out to a bar called Cornwall’s later on, where we met up with Ben’s romantic interest, Stephanie, and a couple other friends of theirs from class, Jason and Jim. They all seem like good people, and the sort of dorkiness that you would expect from graduate students in English.

Ben is proving to be quite accomodating in terms of lodging. He has worked tirelessly to assure that Wordy and I have a place to stay every night, even if it means that Ben himself is put out of his home. For example: last night I slept in Ben’s bed, while he stayed with Stephanie.

We’re due to pick up Wordell @ the airport in about three hours, so that means I’m going to take a little walk around the neighborhood, have some coffee and a bit o’ breakie perhaps, before Ben returns for the morning.

More on everything as it happens, although, if previous vacations are any indication, I will get to the day that I’m too tired or busy to write something in the blog, so be prepared.

First, thanks to everybody who sent some positive feedback about what I had to say about Ben over the weekend. It’s definitely still weighing heavy on my mind, and if I have more to say in the future, I appreciate you listening to it.

On a lighter note, here is what I see as laundry’s leading problem: people wear it. You have clean clothes, then you have to go and wear them, secrete all your juices all over em, they get dirty, you gotta wash em again… it’s a vicious, never-ending cycle.

I just did a ton of wash last week, and here I am, 4 more loads seven days later. Is that a lot for a single man? 4 loads is about average for my week. Does that sound excessive? The funny thing is, if I let it go two weeks, I usually only end up with two extra… eh, whatever.

The rest of my time in Vegas for the week will be spent cleaning, packing, and otherwise preparing for my abbreviated vacation to Boston. Thursday night after work, I drive down to Waukesha to stay with Jen and Joe, then Jen is driving me to the airport early on Friday morning. I’ll be in Boston by 10:30 EST.

Wordy is getting in about 25 hours later.

We’re staying at Ben Leubner’s place, and let me tell you what a helluva guy this guy is: not only did he drive all the way to WI with me from Montana only to drive back, when we get there he’s letting us crash at his place, guiding the tour, and shuttling us about where we need to be. Quite a good friend to have made, I hope someday I can reciprocate some of his kindness…

Either Sunday or Monday we’ll take a train into New York, I don’t think Wordy’s ever been there.
Wordy you been there?
Right, been a couple times, not lately. Got it.

So that’s my week in a nutshell. Gotta run, time to change the f*n laundry…

On Wednesday, March 1, an old childhood friend of mine passed away. Ben Wartgow was diagnosed with brain cancer late in 2003. I visited him and his dad, Jeff, at their home in Eagle River in late January for the first time in years. I was very glad to have seen them again, and I was honored to be asked to be a pallbearer at Ben’s funeral. This short essay/reflection is the first of a few different topics I wanted to write something about as I consider the meaning of these current events and the importance of all the memories.

I sat down in the church next to my friend Clint, who I hadn’t talked to for more than a few minutes since graduation, and at once I realized that I sat in virtually the same place twelve years ago when Ginger died. It was and eerie sort of feeling, because at that moment, these two days didn’t seem nearly far enough apart.

I listened as Jeff read two of Ben’s favorite poets. I remembered Ben as a person who was at least as skilled with language as me (probably more so) and as one who loved books. But I had not known him to read poetry.

As the pastor spoke about Ben’s accomplishments and adventures as a student at UW-Madison, then later as an American professional in Japan, I thought of how all these things were news to me. At once I felt like a fraud, a stranger in friend’s clothing who had been disconnected so long that I was in a way unfit to be here, since there was so much living that had happened in the more recent years of Ben’s life.

I remember Ben’s preparation to leave the States for his first trip to Japan, when we were sophomores in high school. Those were the last days that I was very close with my friend. As I try hard to remember, I have some recollection of an afternoon in late summer – it must have been no more than a day or two before he would leave, and I said good-bye, fully expecting to return to this relationship in a year, and hearing all the stories of Ben’s adventures overseas. What a pivotal year that one turned out to be.

I can remember or imagine all sorts of reasons why we weren’t as close after that, and in some time and place it may be worthwhile to consider those things more deeply, but when I think back on the last seven years of my life, there are not a lot of things that I would change. I doubt that Ben would have a lot of regrets either. What makes me more sad than to realize how I missed out on the those years of friendship with Ben is thinking about how now—as grown, formed, adult men—we probably could have been very close again.

I sat with Clint in the basement of the church eating lunch, chatting about the days growing up. I missed out on those same years with Clint, for similarly unimportant reasons. I made sure that before we parted, I got his phone number, email, and promised to keep in better touch. I hope that it’s not an empty promise; I certainly don’t intend it to be, but who can tell on a day like this one?

Clint and I agreed that time keeps moving faster and faster, and as we continue to get older, people get more and more involved with their own lives, their own families, etc. That’s why I can sit here quite calmly, wishing that I would’ve known these old friends better in more recent days, but refusing to regret the way things have unfolded. I try to keep the faith that the Universe continues to evolve as it should. It is a comforting thought, and relieves anxiety.

In these last seven years, I’ve had three of my grandparents pass away. I loved them all very much, and, as I’ve learned in my Christian upbringing, I look forward to seeing them again on another plane of existence. But I must honestly admit: until today, as I helped to lift Ben’s casket into the hearse, I have never longed more deeply for the day when I might join all of them, when I will look up my old friend Ben, and get to know the man he had become.