So today while I was sitting at the kitchen table working on writing this story, it occurred to me why I never get large chunks of stuff like that done. Allow me to walk you down this tangent.

Gary and Leonard are eating a late lunch somewhere around Los Angeles, CA. I get to a point where it would be appropriate to reveal Leonard’s last name, so I ALT-Tab over to the synopsis I wrote up about three weeks ago to remember what it was.

There was no last name. This got me to wondering if any of these characters had last names, and they didn’t. For some reason, I decided that I really wanted Rod, a small film director, to get a last name first. I turned to the internet for inspiration.

I pop up IMDB and search “people” for the totally random “Rod.” I get oodles of results, and the first Rod that I click on was a 2nd unit director on some soft porn flick called “Babes 2: Lost in Beaver Creek,” which is a hilarious title for any movie, but slightly less so when it’s a Skinemax flick.

I decide to toss up another search, this time under titles, just for the word “Babes,” certain that I’ll hit a large number of silly soft porn movies, which, as it has already been pointed out, are all ridiculous.

I find one title particularly interesting: “Babes and Boobs.” It’s interesting not because “Babes and Boobs” is hilarious, or because it stars some 21st-century TV star in their career’s infancy or something like that, nonono. “Babes and Boobs” is hilarious because it’s a silent movie; IMDB says it came out in 1918. That’s right, 1918. I can only imagine what it’s about. I e-mail a link for this listing to Wordy.

I return to the list of hits for “babes,” which is about 50 deep, and find two TV shows, both named “Babes,” one from 1990 and the other from 1998. The former seems to have been on the Fox network, I see someone actually commented on it, and apparently this person liked the show and wondered why Fox canceled it so fast.

This leads me to wonder why Fox cancels a lot of shows so fast, and my favorite short-lived show that was on Fox in recent memory, “Andy Richter Controls the Universe.” If you had the good sense to watch the show while it was on, you would know that, even if you didn’t find it that amusing, I would think it was gut-tearingly hilarious, which I did. I look this show up and find that it has been officially canceled; they only aired like 19 episodes all together.

I’m so dismayed at the fate of Andy and his friends (two of which were pretty hot) that I can’t seem to continue working with the same vigor that made me sit down to begin with.

Rod, Gary, and Leonard all continue to exist without last names.

Things that I got done today:
Called (but did not speak to) Joe Scialfa again
Wrote to Ron Rindo about getting into the Master’s program in Oshkosh
Sent out a copy of Blender for *hopeful* publication
Went to a temp agency in Waukesha

Which is really not too bad for me; when I get in these “lots and lots of important stuff to do” times, I will occasionally wind up putting off and putting off and putting off, justifying my behavior with busy-ness at far less vital tasks.

If you haven’t heard from me, I swear, I’m getting around to it soon.

Or, “in,” rather.

The trip was just skippy, by the way. No snags, problems, blow-outs, no destruction of property, mine or otherwise, no maiming of small furry creatures, domestic or otherwise, and still no reason that I can fathom to stay awake for the majority of Minnesota, recently crowned Boringest State in the Union, by a consortium of poor souls who’ve been called upon to traverse it border to border. (Sorry, MN, other than the Twin Cities, ya got nothin — at least ND has Teddy Roosevelt Nat’l Park, and WI has some peaks and valleys on the highway.)

The video is called “21” because it takes place in the last 21 hours of my time living in Bozeman. The complete movie hits theaters (or in this case, internets) on Friday, but you can take a look at this “trailer,” if you will.

Other than that, still nothing significant to report. I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen. I looked in the newspaper for work, but obviously haven’t landed anything yet; it’s only been 3 days. Realistically, a person would be hard-pressed to land an interview in 3 days, so please: be reasonable in your expectations.

I did want to gripe about some things, though, but for now I’m going to keep it to just one. That one is groceries.

First of all: I don’t know if you’ve ever shopped for groceries, I guess most people have. When I do it, I go on a Grocery Mission. My objective: the most productivity in the least amount of time. Anyone who’s spent any time with me at home can attest to the fact that I don’t like to spend a lot of time on food. Period. I don’t like to waste time cooking, eating, cleaning up, and the acquisition of food is no exception. This is why I’ve taken to grocery shopping in controlled bursts; I get a loaf of bread here, a gallon of milk there, and only when it’s needed. I’m not too big on shopping for things in advance, or pre-meditating my food usage for a week or whatever. Like I said, don’t like to spend a lot of time on it (not even in the thinking department.)

I can tell that America is not with me on this one. Have you *seen* the people in the grocery store? The women wandering around frozen food, staring at this UFO flying around the ceiling with nothing but a stalk of celery and a box of granola bars in the cart, or the men, hands shoved in pockets, carelessly sauntering through the snack aisle, perhaps uncertain as to which will kill them faster: sour cream & onion or garlic & chives? I have a message for my mindless grocery-getting compatriots…

GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY. I don’t have time (well, no, I guess I really do) or rather don’t want to waste the time lolly-gagging around Pick n’ Save when I could be at home looking for a job or serving the needs of my web-public in a forum such as this one.

I make a list, people. TRY IT.

Most grocery stores are laid out fairly similarly, or at least, they tend to group similar items together no matter where you go. USE THAT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.

I swear, next time I’m over there, if I should accidentally mow down the shirt-and-tie guy slowing shuffling down the cereal aisle staring at an empty cart as he wonders what the wife would like for dinner, I won’t be held responsible. If you’re not ready to shop, man, sit in the car for a while.

More to come in the near future, hopefully news about work in there somewhere.

PS—The ice cream man and his damned truck with that damned song didn’t make me want ice cream, it just made me want to kill the truck.

PPS—Did you know that in this man’s neighborhood, the ice cream truck plays “Helter Skelter”?

Well, I wanted to write something before I leave Bozeman for good. There just isn’t much to add. Ann and her buddy Ryan stopped by on their way to Seattle last night. They slept in the living room. After tossing and turning for a good hour saying, “Just sleep in with the guests,” this morning, I got up, certain it was at least 7:30 or so.

It was 5 minutes to 6:00.

I tried to buy them breakie, but Ann wouldn’t let me. Ah, well, I’ll get ’em back. I spackled the holes in the wall today. I’m going to swab the toilet again later; little spot-wash. See ya in ‘Sconnie.

On this official first day of the unofficial first weekend of summer, I have busted out the summer wardrobe: I am leaving the house today in my navy cargo shorts, Forslund Building Supply t-shirt, and ratty sandals from last summer. This switch-over has led me to a clothing epiphany. Two of them, actually.

First of all, (and Nick Petters would back me up on this) socks suck. Particularly in the summertime, I see no reason why any sane and reasonable human being would wear socks unless they have to go to work, or church, or a wedding, or they’re in the Army, or something like that. Socks are for keeping feet warm in winter, not keeping them white in summer. Down with socks!

Second: having some wiggle-room in your pants is not necessarily indicative of a shrinking waistline. It *is* indicative of having only a few pairs of pants in the rotation, so your chubby ass has all sorts of time to stretch those mothers out. I put on the shorts just now, which, when purchased, had the same number (35) labeling the waist measurement as the jeans I wore yesterday. The jeans sag a bit more on my hips at this point, whereas the shorts are a snugger fit. I can only assume that the looseness of the jeans relates directly the walking, sitting, bending, turning, etc, that I have done in them. This just confirms a truth we already knew about, namely, that I should probably “do” more stuff.

Unrelated note: yesterday, at the urging of Petters (wow, twice in one entry) I gave myself to the Dark Side. I abandoned my Eudora e-mail client in favor of MS Outlook. I’ve attempted this move on a few occasions in the past, and I was always just too lazy to give Outlook a fair shake; like, if I couldn’t figure out how to do stuff that I do really easily in Eudora pretty much IMMEDIATELY, I would trash the Outlook and go back. Yesterday, I made a more concerted effort, and now I have my e-mail, calendar, address book, etc, all consolidated under one flag.

Hey, I just realized: Outlook is exactly like Wal-Mart! Like I said, “The Dark Side…”

Not that I am, though: I dropped a line to Lou Ferrigno yesterday giving him my opinion of this new Hulk versus the classic TV Hulk that we should all know and love (Lou: new Hulk sucks, you da bomb) and I was really impressed when he wrote me back the same day.

Well, I’m just about done with the getting-ready-to-leave-Montana operations. I’m going to unplug the refrigerator today; all the food I had left I managed to fit in the mini-fridge. I really can’t pack anything else up at this point, so I have some writing to do today, and… that’s about it, I guess. Damn, I wish I could get this stuff out of here right now.

It’s really nice outside today; I should probably get out and do some stuff in the good weather. I’m not sure what I would do, though. Maybe I’ll put on some shorts.

Here’s something: Mr. Poquette (that’s right, FHS, the English teacher you know and love) has become the first back-to-back winner in the Movie Quote of the Day besides Wordell. Not bad, but we’ll see which one of them comes through today.

Oh, I posted some new pictures today in the “captures” section as well. Have a good Memorial Day weekend.

Hey, last thing: if you’re watching the reruns of the videos, let me know, drop me a line or whatever. Otherwise, I won’t feel as bad about forgetting to change them.

Raise your hand if you know who Franklin Stubbs is. (Hearty chuckles between you and I if you do.)

I took all the movie stubs off the side of my big bookshelf earlier today, because I managed to sell it. That was the piece of furniture I wanted to get rid of the most. It was the tallest, would’ve been the most awkward to try to pack, get down, get excited, it’s sold. But anyway, since I’ve lived here in Boze-town, I’ve gone to 23 movies. This includes those I saw while I was in WI over the holidays.

Just for the record, I did not see 23 *different* movies, because, in fact, I went to see The Two Towers four times, Star Trek: Nemesis and Old School twice. My biggest regret among these stubs is definitely Daredevil, which I found to be pathetically average (and only that good because I’m a comic book geek INACTIVE). The biggest surprise among them was Phone Booth, whose trailers did it no justice at all. The only stub that ran through the wash in a pants pocket was the one for Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, which I still can’t believe Ewan and Meredith didn’t like. Two of the 23 stubs are dated 9/13/02: I went to the early show of Stealing Harvard and the late One Hour Photo that day. The most expensive ticket I bought was for the second screening of Old School, which I saw in Sherman Oaks with Dicknuts, Dingleberry, Matt, and Ann. That ticket was 9.25, a dollar more than the next most expensive.

Speaking of which, the grand total that I spent on seeing these 23 movies (tickets only) was 134.25. For that price, I could also pay for 3 months of my cell phone service and have 4.20 left over for a sandwich and bag of chips. For that price, I could also buy approximately 537 blank CDs. For that price, I could also buy nearly 17 used DVDs at Hasting’s. For that price, I could rent U-Haul’s? smallest trailer for 3 days and spend one weeknight by myself in a Motel 6. For that price, I could buy two brand new ink cartridges for my printer and 105 sheets of glossy photo paper.

But why would I want any of that stuff? I have 23 movie stubs.

Finally, way to go KP on the last Movie Quote.

Damn, am I ever anxious to get out of here now! I feel like I’ve pretty much got everything done, y’know? I know for sure that I won’t be returning to school at MSU, and I have all the transportation arrangements made, Mom was here over the weekend and we packed up everything on all the bookshelves and things like that.

Last night, Ben came over and we watched TV for a little while, but I was just sitting there looking around the apartment, trying to see if there was anything else I could pack up right that minute. I was reminded that I “still have two weeks to be here,” but… shit, y’know, once everything’s in order, you just want to get on with it.

To that end, I decided I would think about who has to know about my address changes, like, make a list? So that’s something I’m doing today. I’m probably going to pack up seldom-used tools and kitchen supplies today as well. I bought four plastic “totes” at Wally World yesterday, and then this morning, I finally remembered what else it was I was going to buy there: tapes for the video camera; my LA Vacation this spring tapped me out of those.

It snowed yesterday, I couldn’t believe it. It was supposed to be just the morning, but then it kept snowing on and off all day. Right now, it’s 29 degrees and there’s still the veil of white dust on all the rooftops. They say it’s going to get up to 52 today, but I’m not going to hold my breathe.

I watched The Bourne Identity last night, and it made me want to rethink Blender a little bit. Now that I made it longer a couple months ago, I want to make it shorter. I don’t know if I should even worry about it. After all, I’m supposed to have something new to give to Wordy by the end of the week.

I realized this morning that science fiction and fantasy are practically the same genre. In sci-fi, technology takes the place of magic, but in both, the same things happen: the impossible is made possible. Sometimes I wonder: if the most “inhibiting” laws of nature didn’t exist (things like gravity, time, the limited use of the human mind) or rather, if the way we experience them were reversed, would people longingly write fiction about a world where an unseen force keeps feet planted to the ground and time is an unalterable linear experience?

Way to go, Lorch, on nailing the last Movie Quote of the Day.

Well, here’s the thing about yesterday: went to see The Matrix “Reloaded” and whatnot; it was nice, Mom came along to the show, y’know, cuz she said she liked the first one and everything like that, but I understand what she meant when she said this one didn’t quite turn her crank and by the end she was kind of bored.

I’ll tell ya right off the bat, I definitely enjoyed the movie, but not the same way I liked the first one. This one was different, the story was completely… something else. The sequel was way more sci-fi than the original. Which isn’t necessarily all bad, but it was very different from the first. I have a feeling the final installment of the trilogy is going to be more like #2 than #1 as well .

Yeah, but here’s what: movie was definitely too long. Could’ve been shortened up by… I’m gonna say 30-35 minutes. The beginning was waaaaaaaaaay too long, by the time it was over, the fight scenes (while supercool) had gotten excessive, and I thought the whole damn picture got bogged down in exposition.

On the plus side, like I said, pretty awesome fights (on the freeway in particular) and the Eastern philosophies sewn into the fabric of The Matrix make me want to see it again, and listen more closely as the Oracle and the Architect are speaking. It’s pretty cool stuff.

Out of 5, I’ll give this sequel 3-and-a-half.

That’s about all I’ve got; my coffee’s getting cold and I think Mom needs a trip to Wally World for hairspray.

Ha-ha, fooled you. What with all the work I did on the show’s site the past few days, I am taking a day off from this one. If you wanna observe 80’s Rewind Day like me, you’ll listen to all the 80’s pop tunes you can.

Movie quote of the day is new, though, since that doesn’t take much effort.